Love Before This Life
For what more miserable than a miserable being
who commiserates not himself; weeping the death
of Dido for love to Aeneas, but weeping not his own
death for want of love to Thee, O God.
--St Augustine, The Confessions
That is a root thrusting through a wall and growing into a warm knot
The elements from the earth ferment into an aphrodisiac
The two arms that embrace you are broken sharp at your armpits
And two wings develop out of your shoulder blades
Your flight arcs along the sunlit surface of the wind
The glimpse of Aeneas who cloaks in golden and looks into the beyond
Strikes like a lightening, and you are a woman of stone from a stone tower
Eyes and mouth agape, wings rusty, wing-flapping turning into a glide
You nose down at the plaza of his chest and a havoc of dust
Rises to relate his heroic deeds
As night steals into night, the only other is snoring
All the majestic stirrings and risings settled, and you linger in moonlight
No woman working before the loom tonight
The buzz of locusts oozes from the nostrils of a wooden horse
It is the phobia from your maidenhood, and it is this
That drove you away from the man always squat in thought
Later, you revved up along the runway of his sight, took off
And retracting your legs…
…When Aeneas’s sword flashes like a wind above your collarbones
You jerk against the blade and in the nick of time
See the man at the center of a crossing, body transparent
Blood gurgling off his heart as if from your neck
A vast shadow masses behind him into an ever-stretching wall
…He remains a container, self-warming with interlocking pipes
Nov. 24-25 2007
前缘
替狄多为伊尼阿斯的殉情洒泪，而不知
怜悯自己，不知自己缺少奉爱天主之心
而行将死去，还有比我这样可悲的人更加可悲的吗？
——奥古斯丁《忏悔录》
那是捅破了墙的根茎 温柔在摇篮里
地气被凝聚 发酵成催化剂 你的脊背
长出翅膀 你飞翔了
那两只拥抱你的手臂折断在你的腋下
你顺着被阳光照暖的风的弧线
飞翔 瞥见伊尼阿斯的背影
啊 他披着金色 坚毅地盯着远方
你顿时像塔楼中被满月击中的女人
艳唇像眼睛一样惊叹
翅膀僵硬 滑翔式地俯冲
撞击他胸膛的广场 一阵烟尘
回响起他的英雄事迹
入夜后只剩夜与鼾声
一切壮举消停 你徘徊于残月下 不闻机杼声
但闻一匹木马的鼻孔传来蝗虫的嗡嗡
正是这少女时代的恐慌才令你最终
将那沉思的男人舍弃在一道路口
沿着他目光的跑道滑行 起飞 收起双腿
…… ……
当伊尼阿斯那沉稳的剑刃如寒风一般掠过你的锁骨
你绝然逆风转身 在那一霎那的回顾中
那男人依然坐在十字路口的中央 身体透明
心 代替你的颈项 汩汩地涌出热血
一大片阴影在他背后的地平线上聚集 上升 如无限的墙
……而他是一只自暖的容器，内置着交错循环的管道
2007年11月25日
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Fan Jinghua: A Drinking Song
A Drinking Song
Don’t chew the distiller’s aftertaste
When the glass is emptied in candlelight;
Don’t throw the goblet into the dark
When the stain of moon has not dried yet.
Even though the kick is too strong for you,
Drink every drop with grace and a smiling face;
This is a toast and needs a duet
Even though your eyes meet a new apparition.
Take it and let it run into your digestive system
Let it ice your taste buds, pituitary and sperm cyst;
You know this is poison and contains pigment
When you think of her eyes you have no regret.
They don’t toast with a glass of water
You should have known this, and “you know this, right?”
February 15, 2003 2:30 pm
酒歌
当酒杯在烛光下空了，
不要回味酒糟的记忆；
当杯底的月色还没干燥，
不要将杯子抛进黑暗。
虽说这酒劲于你太烈，
微笑着优雅地喝干每一滴；
这是一次敬酒，需要对饮，
尽管对面的已经换了容颜。
接下它将它倾入你的肠胃，
刺激你的味蕾、脑垂与精囊；
你知道这是毒药还包含色素，
想到她的眼睛你便无怨无悔。
人们从不用一杯开水尽欢，
这你应该知道。告诉我，你知道！
2007年11月22日
Don’t chew the distiller’s aftertaste
When the glass is emptied in candlelight;
Don’t throw the goblet into the dark
When the stain of moon has not dried yet.
Even though the kick is too strong for you,
Drink every drop with grace and a smiling face;
This is a toast and needs a duet
Even though your eyes meet a new apparition.
Take it and let it run into your digestive system
Let it ice your taste buds, pituitary and sperm cyst;
You know this is poison and contains pigment
When you think of her eyes you have no regret.
They don’t toast with a glass of water
You should have known this, and “you know this, right?”
February 15, 2003 2:30 pm
酒歌
当酒杯在烛光下空了，
不要回味酒糟的记忆；
当杯底的月色还没干燥，
不要将杯子抛进黑暗。
虽说这酒劲于你太烈，
微笑着优雅地喝干每一滴；
这是一次敬酒，需要对饮，
尽管对面的已经换了容颜。
接下它将它倾入你的肠胃，
刺激你的味蕾、脑垂与精囊；
你知道这是毒药还包含色素，
想到她的眼睛你便无怨无悔。
人们从不用一杯开水尽欢，
这你应该知道。告诉我，你知道！
2007年11月22日
Friday, November 23, 2007
Fan Jinghua: Sighting
Sighting
Often, it is our sighting that casts external light upon things,
And frame them out of time.
When she turns west toward the Drum Tower,
And you head eastward for the Bell Pavilion,
The scene should be moving with the flow of time,
Stretches and disappears in due time when the spatio-temporal correlation
In your visual perception goes beyond a certain point, blank.
Words are voiced (not voiceover), smiles smiled (not faked)
And byes uttered (not kissed),
And then the distance should be let to grow
As she turns away.
…The grip of her right hand on the handbag’s strap must be tight,
For there is a rut on her right shoulder.
Against the sun that makes warmth an understatement, you can
Barely see the way her body moves.
It is merely a shade in space, dwindling, and with loud noises
The cars and buses come in your face,
The glare on the windshields etches your eyes like a welding torch.
All that you can think of is an iron painting
Of black bamboos against a white of everything, cold,
On the wall of your former dorm room, unframed.
Nov. 20 2007
Bamboo (Painting made of iron)
视知觉
往往，是我们的目睹给事情投上一层外在的光，不是照亮，
而是将它们框定，从时间中凸出。
当她转身向西面向鼓楼，
而你掉头向东走向钟亭，
那个场景本应随着时间的流走、
拉伸、适时地消失，当你视觉感知中的时空互应关系
超出某一个极限，便剩下一片空茫。
话已经说完（不是画外音），笑容也展现了（并非勉强），
保重也道出了（没有吻别），
那么在她转身之后，就该让距离自然增长。
……她右手抓着包带，右肩上有一道深深的压痕，
她肯定攥得很紧。
太阳虽已西斜，但绝对比温暖更加，
你几乎无法看清她逆光走去的姿态。
不过是一个黑黢黢的影子走进空间的深处，刺耳的烦躁
随着巴士和小车迎面冲砸你背光的脸，
挡风玻璃上的闪光犹如电焊枪一样刻蚀你的双眼。
你唯一想到的是一幅铁画：
黑色的竹子映衬着一片白色背景，冷冷的，
在你以前集体宿舍的墙上，没有画框。
2007年11月21日
Often, it is our sighting that casts external light upon things,
And frame them out of time.
When she turns west toward the Drum Tower,
And you head eastward for the Bell Pavilion,
The scene should be moving with the flow of time,
Stretches and disappears in due time when the spatio-temporal correlation
In your visual perception goes beyond a certain point, blank.
Words are voiced (not voiceover), smiles smiled (not faked)
And byes uttered (not kissed),
And then the distance should be let to grow
As she turns away.
…The grip of her right hand on the handbag’s strap must be tight,
For there is a rut on her right shoulder.
Against the sun that makes warmth an understatement, you can
Barely see the way her body moves.
It is merely a shade in space, dwindling, and with loud noises
The cars and buses come in your face,
The glare on the windshields etches your eyes like a welding torch.
All that you can think of is an iron painting
Of black bamboos against a white of everything, cold,
On the wall of your former dorm room, unframed.
Nov. 20 2007
Bamboo (Painting made of iron)视知觉
往往，是我们的目睹给事情投上一层外在的光，不是照亮，
而是将它们框定，从时间中凸出。
当她转身向西面向鼓楼，
而你掉头向东走向钟亭，
那个场景本应随着时间的流走、
拉伸、适时地消失，当你视觉感知中的时空互应关系
超出某一个极限，便剩下一片空茫。
话已经说完（不是画外音），笑容也展现了（并非勉强），
保重也道出了（没有吻别），
那么在她转身之后，就该让距离自然增长。
……她右手抓着包带，右肩上有一道深深的压痕，
她肯定攥得很紧。
太阳虽已西斜，但绝对比温暖更加，
你几乎无法看清她逆光走去的姿态。
不过是一个黑黢黢的影子走进空间的深处，刺耳的烦躁
随着巴士和小车迎面冲砸你背光的脸，
挡风玻璃上的闪光犹如电焊枪一样刻蚀你的双眼。
你唯一想到的是一幅铁画：
黑色的竹子映衬着一片白色背景，冷冷的，
在你以前集体宿舍的墙上，没有画框。
2007年11月21日
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Fan Jinghua: Imago of Love
Imago of Love
Two words are enough to drive the world: manly, womanly;
Too few people are not living as a kind,
In the garden, senses and ardor are vegetably implanted.
In the union that makes even the mundane go around and around,
Like a song, you are what you have been
From the day you were impressed to the day you were hinged to a promise,
And your measure repeats with unperceivable tonic shift,
Timeless in a lifetime. That should be prized, I guess,
And I bless you two like a saint
With empty arms full of longings for holding you alone.
You, a love-framed imago that can last
Which this world has witnessed
Too many not to be happy and content.
Devoid of reasons, therefore, you remain to be my love for the world
Only when you are a simile in my sight, a metaphor in mind,
Or, you will make a garden a well of hurt, insidious and cold-blooded.
In the beginning of the end, which happens to be fall, as is imaginable,
You are a dwarf fig
Growing into my garden of knowledge,
Tiny flowers blooming inside fruits
That, literally, never transport and are hard to keep intact.
I cannot bear the sight of you in a ceramic container or a frig, frosty,
For the animal beauty in you effloresces only in the open air
Where I, too, can be a worthy beast.
But in your garden, a loveseat holds two potted Spanish daggers and one ashtray;
In the living room with a chandelier, lyre chairs have cabriole legs and satin seats,
Too clean to be like Freud’s crimson couch.
Love makes me sick of them and grumpy like a rusty door-bar,
For you are a candle of aching red that lubricates
And seals my green and grey years.
When the world is a windless garden,
I conjure up a machinery of a winding veranda
Where myriad tendrils of vines touch the windowpanes.
Nov. 16-17 2007
《义务》Onus (1992) by Robin Kranitzky & Kim Overstreet (from the artists' website)
爱情成像
只有两个词总是生机勃勃：雄与雌；
没有多少人不能依类而分别，
这花园里，预先植入了五色与热情。
媾联驱动俗常与陈腐，一圈圈旋转，像一首歌，
你，是一段时间，
始于被人留下印象，终于被许给一个诺言，
小节线内，旋律自动重复，调性的变化难以察觉，
一生的时间足够永恒。
这其实值得嘉赏，于是我像圣徒一样祝福你们，
空空的双臂充满了拥抱你的渴望，
你，爱情相框里的图像，积累着时间带来的
可以冲淡的满足；
这已被世界见证了太多，
它不会感到悲哀，
你也不该觉得缺少浓情。
因为没有因为，所以你依然是我对这个世界的爱恋，
只是你是我的比喻，明在视觉中，暗在理智下；
否则，你会令一座花园变成一口伤害之井，阴险而冷血。
当结束刚开始的时候，恰逢秋气初萌，可以想象的自然，
一棵矮株无花果
已在我的知识之园中丰腴，
小米似的花朵开在果实的脐孔内，
它们无法运输到异地也很难保鲜多久，
因此世界消费着你的细丝切片。
不忍看你雪藏在瓷砖的集装箱里或者冰柜中浮着一层粉霜，
你那动物的美只有在风中霜化才令人的心痛值得，
我，也只在露天才是动物。
而你家的花园里，双人椅上坐着两盆凤尾兰和一只烟灰缸，
水晶吊灯的散弹照明了起居室，竖琴的椅背，弧线的腿与缎面的座，
比弗洛伊德的绛红色沙发干净而整洁许多。
爱情令我憎恨这一切，我像生锈的门闩一样唧唧咕咕，
你本是一支红烛，刺痛夜间的人，
或者润滑或者密封我青涩或者灰白的岁月。
当世界沉入一座无风的花园，
我构想出九曲的游廊
万千藤蔓的卷须触摸窗面。
2007年11月19日
Two words are enough to drive the world: manly, womanly;
Too few people are not living as a kind,
In the garden, senses and ardor are vegetably implanted.
In the union that makes even the mundane go around and around,
Like a song, you are what you have been
From the day you were impressed to the day you were hinged to a promise,
And your measure repeats with unperceivable tonic shift,
Timeless in a lifetime. That should be prized, I guess,
And I bless you two like a saint
With empty arms full of longings for holding you alone.
You, a love-framed imago that can last
Which this world has witnessed
Too many not to be happy and content.
Devoid of reasons, therefore, you remain to be my love for the world
Only when you are a simile in my sight, a metaphor in mind,
Or, you will make a garden a well of hurt, insidious and cold-blooded.
In the beginning of the end, which happens to be fall, as is imaginable,
You are a dwarf fig
Growing into my garden of knowledge,
Tiny flowers blooming inside fruits
That, literally, never transport and are hard to keep intact.
I cannot bear the sight of you in a ceramic container or a frig, frosty,
For the animal beauty in you effloresces only in the open air
Where I, too, can be a worthy beast.
But in your garden, a loveseat holds two potted Spanish daggers and one ashtray;
In the living room with a chandelier, lyre chairs have cabriole legs and satin seats,
Too clean to be like Freud’s crimson couch.
Love makes me sick of them and grumpy like a rusty door-bar,
For you are a candle of aching red that lubricates
And seals my green and grey years.
When the world is a windless garden,
I conjure up a machinery of a winding veranda
Where myriad tendrils of vines touch the windowpanes.
Nov. 16-17 2007
《义务》Onus (1992) by Robin Kranitzky & Kim Overstreet (from the artists' website)爱情成像
只有两个词总是生机勃勃：雄与雌；
没有多少人不能依类而分别，
这花园里，预先植入了五色与热情。
媾联驱动俗常与陈腐，一圈圈旋转，像一首歌，
你，是一段时间，
始于被人留下印象，终于被许给一个诺言，
小节线内，旋律自动重复，调性的变化难以察觉，
一生的时间足够永恒。
这其实值得嘉赏，于是我像圣徒一样祝福你们，
空空的双臂充满了拥抱你的渴望，
你，爱情相框里的图像，积累着时间带来的
可以冲淡的满足；
这已被世界见证了太多，
它不会感到悲哀，
你也不该觉得缺少浓情。
因为没有因为，所以你依然是我对这个世界的爱恋，
只是你是我的比喻，明在视觉中，暗在理智下；
否则，你会令一座花园变成一口伤害之井，阴险而冷血。
当结束刚开始的时候，恰逢秋气初萌，可以想象的自然，
一棵矮株无花果
已在我的知识之园中丰腴，
小米似的花朵开在果实的脐孔内，
它们无法运输到异地也很难保鲜多久，
因此世界消费着你的细丝切片。
不忍看你雪藏在瓷砖的集装箱里或者冰柜中浮着一层粉霜，
你那动物的美只有在风中霜化才令人的心痛值得，
我，也只在露天才是动物。
而你家的花园里，双人椅上坐着两盆凤尾兰和一只烟灰缸，
水晶吊灯的散弹照明了起居室，竖琴的椅背，弧线的腿与缎面的座，
比弗洛伊德的绛红色沙发干净而整洁许多。
爱情令我憎恨这一切，我像生锈的门闩一样唧唧咕咕，
你本是一支红烛，刺痛夜间的人，
或者润滑或者密封我青涩或者灰白的岁月。
当世界沉入一座无风的花园，
我构想出九曲的游廊
万千藤蔓的卷须触摸窗面。
2007年11月19日
Monday, November 19, 2007
Fan Jinghua: Ice Cream Peddler
Ice Cream Peddler
Ice-cream! Ice-cream!
The sun is scorching, I see you coming
Without an umbrella or a hat,
The swing of handbag dangling
Down from your armpit at your serpentine waist,
You are too beautiful to be screened by a sunblocking shawl.
(Something round about her makes my heart pounding.)
Oh, what flavour do you like? What color?
… As you please, it can be free.
(How ivory are these legs, two! Mine are elephant’s.
My eyes drooping, aching and itching)
There, take the cone,
(I scoop out of my heart and brain, oh,
And I would never expect to see
Her smile at the sweating me instead of the freezing cream)
Thank you, and such a day!
(My palm opens to receive the weight of coins from her feathery hand,
If it is a paper note, it is my luck)
You turn, and slowly you go away; I imagine
You lick with your cat tongue,
You suck and hold it in mouth as if it is too hot,
And off you go, to someone wealthy and handsome.
I am here to shake my bell: ice-cream, sweet!
Nov. 19 2007
小贩
冰淇淋，冰淇淋！
太阳像火一样烤人，我看见你走来
没撑伞，也没戴帽子，坤包带从腋窝
荡下秋千，抚摩着你的水蛇腰，
这么漂亮，可不能用遮阳的披肩盖住线条。
（她身上有某种圆润令我心悸）
哦，您喜欢什么口味？什么颜色？
……随您的便，可以免费奉送。
（这大腿多么象牙，两条！而我的是大象。
我的眼睛低垂，又疼又痒）
好了，拿好蛋筒，
（上面堆放的是我剜出来的心和脑子呵，
我当然不会以为
她的微笑是冲着汗渍渍的我，而非仅仅因为结冰的霜糊）
谢谢您，哦，这天！
（我的手掌向上，等待承接硬币滑出她纤手的重量，
如果是一张纸币，那将是我幸运的一天）
你转身，慢慢地去了，我想象你
用猫一样的舌头舔，
满嗍一口，含在嘴里，似乎它很烫……
你悠悠地远了，走向某个英俊而富有的人。
我只能在这里，摇着铃铛：冰淇淋，甜到心！
2007年11月19日
Ice-cream! Ice-cream!
The sun is scorching, I see you coming
Without an umbrella or a hat,
The swing of handbag dangling
Down from your armpit at your serpentine waist,
You are too beautiful to be screened by a sunblocking shawl.
(Something round about her makes my heart pounding.)
Oh, what flavour do you like? What color?
… As you please, it can be free.
(How ivory are these legs, two! Mine are elephant’s.
My eyes drooping, aching and itching)
There, take the cone,
(I scoop out of my heart and brain, oh,
And I would never expect to see
Her smile at the sweating me instead of the freezing cream)
Thank you, and such a day!
(My palm opens to receive the weight of coins from her feathery hand,
If it is a paper note, it is my luck)
You turn, and slowly you go away; I imagine
You lick with your cat tongue,
You suck and hold it in mouth as if it is too hot,
And off you go, to someone wealthy and handsome.
I am here to shake my bell: ice-cream, sweet!
Nov. 19 2007
小贩
冰淇淋，冰淇淋！
太阳像火一样烤人，我看见你走来
没撑伞，也没戴帽子，坤包带从腋窝
荡下秋千，抚摩着你的水蛇腰，
这么漂亮，可不能用遮阳的披肩盖住线条。
（她身上有某种圆润令我心悸）
哦，您喜欢什么口味？什么颜色？
……随您的便，可以免费奉送。
（这大腿多么象牙，两条！而我的是大象。
我的眼睛低垂，又疼又痒）
好了，拿好蛋筒，
（上面堆放的是我剜出来的心和脑子呵，
我当然不会以为
她的微笑是冲着汗渍渍的我，而非仅仅因为结冰的霜糊）
谢谢您，哦，这天！
（我的手掌向上，等待承接硬币滑出她纤手的重量，
如果是一张纸币，那将是我幸运的一天）
你转身，慢慢地去了，我想象你
用猫一样的舌头舔，
满嗍一口，含在嘴里，似乎它很烫……
你悠悠地远了，走向某个英俊而富有的人。
我只能在这里，摇着铃铛：冰淇淋，甜到心！
2007年11月19日
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Fan Jinghua: Wintering
Wintering
When summer licks his palm
(Winds lurk nearby)
As his palm has touched her cheeks
Arcs of winds steal by
Leaving a dryness like glue that scars his palmar texture
(No palmist could figure out how to perform the arithmetic)
A mimic epidermis sticky in his dreams
Color and flesh consumed
A tree of farewells that entwines with others
Underneath
(No dendrologist knows the shape of the complex)
When trees are almost bare
The few stickers overstay the party time
In the crotches, spitting
Not a welcome sight
Anyone on the way home sneaks by
A deciduous tree has necessary wisdom to stand aside
And quietly, as time requires, like the long winter in which he uses
Only his bare limbs to conserve heat, warming through
And full of gratitude toward any passing bird
Knowing
Anything that his thin breath has clung for a second or two
Will all expand when spring comes
Even the breath on his palm
Left by a sneeze or a yawn
And, possibly, tears
Will grow increasingly invisible into the Ether
Nov. 13-14, 2007
越冬
当夏季舔舐他的手心
（风潜伏在近处）
他的手掌曾抚触她的脸颊
风乘着弧线溜过
留下一种干燥 像胶水在掌心结疤
（手相学家无法找到可以换算的线条）
那是一张假皮 粘糊糊的泡在梦中
沤掉了颜色和肉
无法挽留一片一片的孤独
树在地下将触须伸向他人的地盘
（树木学家从不知晓那种缠结的症状）
当最后几片滞留的叶子
吸附在树杈上
像是聚会结束时喝多了的几位
不愿回去 藏掖在墙角 脚下一片脏污
归家的人路过他们 心虚得不忍目睹
落叶的树有一种智慧 令它适时地远离其他
悄然而立于漫长的冬季 用肢体为自己聚热
对每一只偶然越过的鸟儿充满感激
因为感激为自己带来内在的温暖
知道春天再度来临时
每一丝白色的呼吸都将膨胀而融入大气
犹如手心中
感冒的喷嚏或者春困的哈欠
甚至泪珠留下的痕迹
2007年11月14日
When summer licks his palm
(Winds lurk nearby)
As his palm has touched her cheeks
Arcs of winds steal by
Leaving a dryness like glue that scars his palmar texture
(No palmist could figure out how to perform the arithmetic)
A mimic epidermis sticky in his dreams
Color and flesh consumed
A tree of farewells that entwines with others
Underneath
(No dendrologist knows the shape of the complex)
When trees are almost bare
The few stickers overstay the party time
In the crotches, spitting
Not a welcome sight
Anyone on the way home sneaks by
A deciduous tree has necessary wisdom to stand aside
And quietly, as time requires, like the long winter in which he uses
Only his bare limbs to conserve heat, warming through
And full of gratitude toward any passing bird
Knowing
Anything that his thin breath has clung for a second or two
Will all expand when spring comes
Even the breath on his palm
Left by a sneeze or a yawn
And, possibly, tears
Will grow increasingly invisible into the Ether
Nov. 13-14, 2007
越冬
当夏季舔舐他的手心
（风潜伏在近处）
他的手掌曾抚触她的脸颊
风乘着弧线溜过
留下一种干燥 像胶水在掌心结疤
（手相学家无法找到可以换算的线条）
那是一张假皮 粘糊糊的泡在梦中
沤掉了颜色和肉
无法挽留一片一片的孤独
树在地下将触须伸向他人的地盘
（树木学家从不知晓那种缠结的症状）
当最后几片滞留的叶子
吸附在树杈上
像是聚会结束时喝多了的几位
不愿回去 藏掖在墙角 脚下一片脏污
归家的人路过他们 心虚得不忍目睹
落叶的树有一种智慧 令它适时地远离其他
悄然而立于漫长的冬季 用肢体为自己聚热
对每一只偶然越过的鸟儿充满感激
因为感激为自己带来内在的温暖
知道春天再度来临时
每一丝白色的呼吸都将膨胀而融入大气
犹如手心中
感冒的喷嚏或者春困的哈欠
甚至泪珠留下的痕迹
2007年11月14日
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Fan Jinghua: Projectile
Projectile
As if it is only one restful night at my mom’s
A week of unscheduled timeslots overlapped
For meals, familial chitchats, ramblings about the house
And gawking anything in the eyeshot without seeing…
I do not sleepwalk
But upon return it is many years between
My eyes and yours
(All the winglets have gone from your summer dress
Small arcs scattered like broken parentheses of smiles
Enclosing nothing to imply the multi-plies of time)
As clouds drift away from the water where we skin dive
Any rock may sit like a challenge and set our ears perking like a bunny
Even the stark skeletons by a plague-infected glade will take time
To send a hovering hawk into the orbit of a coma
Nov. 9, 2007
抛物体
犹如回到乡下 在妈妈的关照下过了几天
无需安排的时间段彼此渗透
吃饭 拉家常 转来转去
呆呆地盯着进入视野的一切 却什么也没看见……
然后我就回来了
你也知道我并不是梦游
而当四目相遇时 我们的眼前隔着很多年
（你夏衣上的那些小翅膀不见了 碎花小小的弧线
像杂乱的括号 无法包容时间之外的意蕴
没有自然组合的一对对 微笑的嘴唇）
当云朵从我们曾经裸潜的秋水上漂走
任何一块石头都能挑衅我们的专注 令我们耳朵竖起 像兔子
哪怕瘟疫侵染的泽地上白骨成堆
盘旋的老鹰仍然目光犹疑 不忍拐入彗星义无反顾的轨道
2007年11月10日晨
As if it is only one restful night at my mom’s
A week of unscheduled timeslots overlapped
For meals, familial chitchats, ramblings about the house
And gawking anything in the eyeshot without seeing…
I do not sleepwalk
But upon return it is many years between
My eyes and yours
(All the winglets have gone from your summer dress
Small arcs scattered like broken parentheses of smiles
Enclosing nothing to imply the multi-plies of time)
As clouds drift away from the water where we skin dive
Any rock may sit like a challenge and set our ears perking like a bunny
Even the stark skeletons by a plague-infected glade will take time
To send a hovering hawk into the orbit of a coma
Nov. 9, 2007
抛物体
犹如回到乡下 在妈妈的关照下过了几天
无需安排的时间段彼此渗透
吃饭 拉家常 转来转去
呆呆地盯着进入视野的一切 却什么也没看见……
然后我就回来了
你也知道我并不是梦游
而当四目相遇时 我们的眼前隔着很多年
（你夏衣上的那些小翅膀不见了 碎花小小的弧线
像杂乱的括号 无法包容时间之外的意蕴
没有自然组合的一对对 微笑的嘴唇）
当云朵从我们曾经裸潜的秋水上漂走
任何一块石头都能挑衅我们的专注 令我们耳朵竖起 像兔子
哪怕瘟疫侵染的泽地上白骨成堆
盘旋的老鹰仍然目光犹疑 不忍拐入彗星义无反顾的轨道
2007年11月10日晨
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Fan Jinghua: Have to Get Prepared
Have to Get Prepared
Nymph, autumn is pungent now.
Don’t linger by the water any longer,
Leave the crystal liquid to the andante clouds
And the leaves about to fall.
We have to get prepared for wintering:
Stitch up a cotton portiére, gather some firewood
To warm the frozen poems in the isolated night…
—and also, maybe, Dear, when a fresh snowstorm
Fuzzes the cold quilt of the earth,
You suddenly want to feel
How small you can be even to yourself,
Then we should have a shawl of felt
Big enough to tuck us together
So that we will be negligible as one, going into the whiteout.
Nov. 6-7, 2007
该准备越冬了
林仙，已是秋意酽酽了，
不要再留连于水泽。
将那清澄留给云朵的行板
和落叶最后的回旋舞吧，
我们要为越冬做好准备：
补缀好门帘，多打些柴薪，
为了在寒夜
烤暖我们手中冻僵的诗句……
——还有，或许当一场大雪封门后
又有一场大雪纷扬在旷野的棉被上，
你突然向往渺小，
那么要有一张大毛毡，将你我裹成一个
人，就像自己对自己那样
不足道，一心走进迷蒙。
2007年11月7日
Nymph, autumn is pungent now.
Don’t linger by the water any longer,
Leave the crystal liquid to the andante clouds
And the leaves about to fall.
We have to get prepared for wintering:
Stitch up a cotton portiére, gather some firewood
To warm the frozen poems in the isolated night…
—and also, maybe, Dear, when a fresh snowstorm
Fuzzes the cold quilt of the earth,
You suddenly want to feel
How small you can be even to yourself,
Then we should have a shawl of felt
Big enough to tuck us together
So that we will be negligible as one, going into the whiteout.
Nov. 6-7, 2007
该准备越冬了
林仙，已是秋意酽酽了，
不要再留连于水泽。
将那清澄留给云朵的行板
和落叶最后的回旋舞吧，
我们要为越冬做好准备：
补缀好门帘，多打些柴薪，
为了在寒夜
烤暖我们手中冻僵的诗句……
——还有，或许当一场大雪封门后
又有一场大雪纷扬在旷野的棉被上，
你突然向往渺小，
那么要有一张大毛毡，将你我裹成一个
人，就像自己对自己那样
不足道，一心走进迷蒙。
2007年11月7日
Fan Jinghua: Untitled or Dynamic Landscape
Untitled or Dynamic Landscape
My mouth is the blindfold of your areolas
It alternates and all your petals
Bare themselves on a prairie and straighten to dizzy attention
In the dark inside
Down there in a canyon
Your smiles undulate and suck like a black hole
They are the most mesmerizing
Soft, decisive and consuming
Turning the world to nonexistence
And me to a shaft of bloodshot cloud
Nov. 7-8, 2007
无题 或 动态风景
我张开嘴为你的瞳仁罩上黑色营帐
在它的整体迁移之间
你内部所有的花瓣次第裸裎而眩晕着站立于辽阔的草场
不远处的峡谷
夹着黑暗
你的微笑带着宇宙黑洞的吮吸力
温柔而坚决 令人魂销而体虚
世界被你一波一波地推涌
到了不存在的境地
我 被拧成一股充血的云
2007年11月7-8日
My mouth is the blindfold of your areolas
It alternates and all your petals
Bare themselves on a prairie and straighten to dizzy attention
In the dark inside
Down there in a canyon
Your smiles undulate and suck like a black hole
They are the most mesmerizing
Soft, decisive and consuming
Turning the world to nonexistence
And me to a shaft of bloodshot cloud
Nov. 7-8, 2007
无题 或 动态风景
我张开嘴为你的瞳仁罩上黑色营帐
在它的整体迁移之间
你内部所有的花瓣次第裸裎而眩晕着站立于辽阔的草场
不远处的峡谷
夹着黑暗
你的微笑带着宇宙黑洞的吮吸力
温柔而坚决 令人魂销而体虚
世界被你一波一波地推涌
到了不存在的境地
我 被拧成一股充血的云
2007年11月7-8日
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Fan Jinghua: Performing Love
Performing Love
Over mountains, across rivers
There must be a word that flies, even if it stops when pronounced
To designate I as here you as there
Every of your sleeps is my reverie
I am a puppet with wings
But now, acquiescing to the stillness, you seldom turn
My tongue lolls out in the sun
It tenses up the instant when your heart buds
The cleavage of low flames
Days ferment words
Night is for the fermentation of language
I stick my head into its hearth and do not find a word of my own
Moonless, phoenix and its tree have gone
That word has nowhere to perch even if spelt out
After a chuckle, I zip up my mouth with my tongue
How I hope to bind your legs together and put you on a pedestal
And plant between your heels a seed of carnivorous vine
And wait for an umbilical flower
Swallow me, love, don’t nibble
I am not a hook with a worm
Nov. 6, 2007
施爱
必然有一个会飞的字
山不阻水不隔 即使它一经说出 便会停止
将我指定为这儿 你为那儿
你那儿的每一次入睡都是我这儿不着边际的浮想
我是一只木偶缠着翅膀
而此刻你的心如万籁的寂静 不再难眠
我的舌头耷拉在阳光下
瞬间就能绷紧——如果你的心绽放
火焰的低温乳沟
白昼发酵着人们的话
夜晚便是为了让语言自我发酵
而我将头伸进它的炉膛 也没找到一个属于我的字眼
无月之夜 凤凰和它的树都不见了
即便那个字拼写出来也无处可栖
嘿嘿一声后 我用舌头将我的嘴封死
多想也把你的双腿捆紧 抱你到一座高台
在你两脚之间种下一粒食人花的种子
然后我将不舍昼夜 守候脐带似的花朵
吞掉我 爱 不要蚕食
我不是一只鱼钩带着饵
2007年11月6日
Over mountains, across rivers
There must be a word that flies, even if it stops when pronounced
To designate I as here you as there
Every of your sleeps is my reverie
I am a puppet with wings
But now, acquiescing to the stillness, you seldom turn
My tongue lolls out in the sun
It tenses up the instant when your heart buds
The cleavage of low flames
Days ferment words
Night is for the fermentation of language
I stick my head into its hearth and do not find a word of my own
Moonless, phoenix and its tree have gone
That word has nowhere to perch even if spelt out
After a chuckle, I zip up my mouth with my tongue
How I hope to bind your legs together and put you on a pedestal
And plant between your heels a seed of carnivorous vine
And wait for an umbilical flower
Swallow me, love, don’t nibble
I am not a hook with a worm
Nov. 6, 2007
施爱
必然有一个会飞的字
山不阻水不隔 即使它一经说出 便会停止
将我指定为这儿 你为那儿
你那儿的每一次入睡都是我这儿不着边际的浮想
我是一只木偶缠着翅膀
而此刻你的心如万籁的寂静 不再难眠
我的舌头耷拉在阳光下
瞬间就能绷紧——如果你的心绽放
火焰的低温乳沟
白昼发酵着人们的话
夜晚便是为了让语言自我发酵
而我将头伸进它的炉膛 也没找到一个属于我的字眼
无月之夜 凤凰和它的树都不见了
即便那个字拼写出来也无处可栖
嘿嘿一声后 我用舌头将我的嘴封死
多想也把你的双腿捆紧 抱你到一座高台
在你两脚之间种下一粒食人花的种子
然后我将不舍昼夜 守候脐带似的花朵
吞掉我 爱 不要蚕食
我不是一只鱼钩带着饵
2007年11月6日
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Fan Jinghua: An Erotic Poem
An Erotic Poem
I draw eyelids for your nipples
And you give me the most mesmerizing smiles
Nov. 1, 2007
色情小诗
我为你的乳头绘上眼睑
你给我最令人销魂的微笑
2007年11月1日
I draw eyelids for your nipples
And you give me the most mesmerizing smiles
Nov. 1, 2007
色情小诗
我为你的乳头绘上眼睑
你给我最令人销魂的微笑
2007年11月1日
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Fan Jinghua: Secret of Greatness
Secret of Greatness
What sluices from a snowy mountain
Secretes under the skin. Warming.
Nov. 01, 2007
伟大的秘密
何必为一座山造屋？
你可以隐身其中。独享。
2007年11月1日
Literal translation of the Chinese:
Why bother building a house for a mountain?
You may hide in it. Enjoy alone.
The two lines for the original English is paralleled on the basis that the Chinese character for “secret” may be broken down into radicals which include “why bother” and “house/cover on a mountain.” To be a hermitage in the mountain is long considered as a way to achieve personal integrity, and of course the greatness of a hermitage is not to “conquer” nature but become an organic part of it. So this is the secret of greatness. This is also why there have been so many poems and artworks with the motifs of cottage and fishing boat and hermits.
英文的直译：
从雪山奔泻而出的
在皮肤下泌渗。温暖着。
由于英文原文中有很多s的声音，读来很丝滑；而另外两个声音则是w和m比较浊暖。这在中文直接翻译中无法体现，于是就改写了。改写诗主要想利用汉字的音形，主要是想拆掉秘密这两个字，变成何必山上加屋。隐士情结一直是中国文人的
传统，一个人的伟大与完善不在于“征服”自然，而是变为自然的有机部分。这便是伟大的秘密。中国古典诗歌和艺术中最常见的motifs就包括茅屋、渔舟和隐士。
What sluices from a snowy mountain
Secretes under the skin. Warming.
Nov. 01, 2007
伟大的秘密
何必为一座山造屋？
你可以隐身其中。独享。
2007年11月1日
Literal translation of the Chinese:
Why bother building a house for a mountain?
You may hide in it. Enjoy alone.
The two lines for the original English is paralleled on the basis that the Chinese character for “secret” may be broken down into radicals which include “why bother” and “house/cover on a mountain.” To be a hermitage in the mountain is long considered as a way to achieve personal integrity, and of course the greatness of a hermitage is not to “conquer” nature but become an organic part of it. So this is the secret of greatness. This is also why there have been so many poems and artworks with the motifs of cottage and fishing boat and hermits.
英文的直译：
从雪山奔泻而出的
在皮肤下泌渗。温暖着。
由于英文原文中有很多s的声音，读来很丝滑；而另外两个声音则是w和m比较浊暖。这在中文直接翻译中无法体现，于是就改写了。改写诗主要想利用汉字的音形，主要是想拆掉秘密这两个字，变成何必山上加屋。隐士情结一直是中国文人的
传统，一个人的伟大与完善不在于“征服”自然，而是变为自然的有机部分。这便是伟大的秘密。中国古典诗歌和艺术中最常见的motifs就包括茅屋、渔舟和隐士。
Fan Jinghua: To Speak Something
This is a poem rewritten on the preceding one entitled "Jargon"
To Speak Something
What we fantasize haunts us like eternity we are even unaware
Of this love sadness is a cohabitant life doesn’t necessitate
The mating of soul love is its one-time sexual partner
To please and to be pleased are to blow solitude into the balloons
Of our body to make ourselves bloated and
To echo the emptiness when we tap each other
A one should be a sure solo I stand in my shadow you take up yours
Nobody could enter another body with the body only
And leaves its shadow behind in its own bedroom
Even for an innocent nonpregnant woman I am a lowly Tartuffe
Accustomed to hypocrisy mental erection is intense and tries hard
To turn the direction of the penis but this is like a pregnant woman
Who is allergic to semen and shy to become immunized
Through accumulative contact without penetration
有言
那是我们幻想着的 永恒永远萦回不去 我们甚至毫不自知
这样爱着 于是忧伤与爱情同居 而生活却不要求两情相悦
爱只是它的性伴侣 悦人与悦己 都只是将孤独
吹入我们皮囊的气球 令我们时时饱满 轻叩还传来空荡荡的回音
一个一个人本该形单影只 我占据着我的影子 你占据你的
我们谁都无法只带着肉身走进另一个人 将影子留在自己的卧房
即使在一个优雅的未孕妇看来 我也已恶俗不堪
习惯于虚伪 因而将自己的有心无胆镀成一种美德
这就好像孕妇因为精液过敏而患上了产前惊厥
要想免疫 其实只需要经常接触那液体 但不要插入式性爱
2007年10月30日
To Speak Something
What we fantasize haunts us like eternity we are even unaware
Of this love sadness is a cohabitant life doesn’t necessitate
The mating of soul love is its one-time sexual partner
To please and to be pleased are to blow solitude into the balloons
Of our body to make ourselves bloated and
To echo the emptiness when we tap each other
A one should be a sure solo I stand in my shadow you take up yours
Nobody could enter another body with the body only
And leaves its shadow behind in its own bedroom
Even for an innocent nonpregnant woman I am a lowly Tartuffe
Accustomed to hypocrisy mental erection is intense and tries hard
To turn the direction of the penis but this is like a pregnant woman
Who is allergic to semen and shy to become immunized
Through accumulative contact without penetration
有言
那是我们幻想着的 永恒永远萦回不去 我们甚至毫不自知
这样爱着 于是忧伤与爱情同居 而生活却不要求两情相悦
爱只是它的性伴侣 悦人与悦己 都只是将孤独
吹入我们皮囊的气球 令我们时时饱满 轻叩还传来空荡荡的回音
一个一个人本该形单影只 我占据着我的影子 你占据你的
我们谁都无法只带着肉身走进另一个人 将影子留在自己的卧房
即使在一个优雅的未孕妇看来 我也已恶俗不堪
习惯于虚伪 因而将自己的有心无胆镀成一种美德
这就好像孕妇因为精液过敏而患上了产前惊厥
要想免疫 其实只需要经常接触那液体 但不要插入式性爱
2007年10月30日
Fan Jinghua: Jargon
Jargon
Poor wounded name! My bosom, as a bed,
Shall lodge thee, till thy wound be thoroughly healed
----Shakespeare, The Two Gentlemen from Verona
I quote, I hope but I am sorry I can’t.
In terms of fantasy, fixation and the unconscious
As they have functioned for dysphoria, sine qua non, in Eros
(i. e. the will to live, not necessarily through romantic love
as a compensational projection of the fear of freedom),
My exegetical power at the level of subjectivity and identification,
Phenomenologically speaking, is devalued to such an extent
That I may have already deteriorated, to borrow Grace Farrow, into
An involuntary self-effacing displacement over developmental complexes
Which is comparable to the immunological precondition of preeclampsia,
A prerequisite in the form of progressive acculturation of seminal fluid.
Oct. 30, 2007
行话 （直译版）
可怜那受伤的名字！我的胸膛是一张床
供你休憩将养，直到你的创伤愈合如常。
——莎士比亚《维罗纳的二绅士》
我引用、我希望但很抱歉我不能。
按照幻想、固恋与无意识诸观念
在爱欲行为中的运作，悲伤症实属必然附带
（爱欲即生之意志，而生之实现并非必然
借助于显示为自由恐惧之补偿性投射的浪漫之爱），
由此，仅从现象学而言，我的诠释力
在主体性与认同性层面已经很大程度地贬值，
若容我借用歌来斯·发落的术语，我已恶化到
以非自觉状态的自我抹消行为置换着自己的发展心理学情结，
这行为堪比产前惊厥的免疫性先决条件，
亦即以累进性精液适应过程为形式的前提。
2007年10月30日
Poor wounded name! My bosom, as a bed,
Shall lodge thee, till thy wound be thoroughly healed
----Shakespeare, The Two Gentlemen from Verona
I quote, I hope but I am sorry I can’t.
In terms of fantasy, fixation and the unconscious
As they have functioned for dysphoria, sine qua non, in Eros
(i. e. the will to live, not necessarily through romantic love
as a compensational projection of the fear of freedom),
My exegetical power at the level of subjectivity and identification,
Phenomenologically speaking, is devalued to such an extent
That I may have already deteriorated, to borrow Grace Farrow, into
An involuntary self-effacing displacement over developmental complexes
Which is comparable to the immunological precondition of preeclampsia,
A prerequisite in the form of progressive acculturation of seminal fluid.
Oct. 30, 2007
行话 （直译版）
可怜那受伤的名字！我的胸膛是一张床
供你休憩将养，直到你的创伤愈合如常。
——莎士比亚《维罗纳的二绅士》
我引用、我希望但很抱歉我不能。
按照幻想、固恋与无意识诸观念
在爱欲行为中的运作，悲伤症实属必然附带
（爱欲即生之意志，而生之实现并非必然
借助于显示为自由恐惧之补偿性投射的浪漫之爱），
由此，仅从现象学而言，我的诠释力
在主体性与认同性层面已经很大程度地贬值，
若容我借用歌来斯·发落的术语，我已恶化到
以非自觉状态的自我抹消行为置换着自己的发展心理学情结，
这行为堪比产前惊厥的免疫性先决条件，
亦即以累进性精液适应过程为形式的前提。
2007年10月30日
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