Looking for a Hermit (by Qiwu Qian and Jia Dao)

Qiwu Qian: Passing by Venerable Rong’s Retreat 綦毋潛《过融上人兰若》
Jia Dao: Looking For a Hermit and In Vain 贾岛《寻隐者不遇》


　　　过融上人兰若
　　　　　　　　　　綦毋潛
山头禅室挂僧衣，窗外无人溪鸟飞。
黄昏半在下山路，却听泉声恋翠微。

Word-by-word Exegesis 逐字注：
　过pass 融Rong 上upper 人man 兰若a Buddhist’s retreat [transliteration of Sanskrit aranya]
　　　　　　　綦毋潛 [Qiwu Qian, 691-756, Tang Dynasty]
山mountain 头top 禅Zen 室house 挂hang 僧monk 衣clothe
窗window 外outside 无no 人people 溪creek 鸟bird 飞fly
黄yellow 昏dusk 半half 在on 下down 山mountain 路road
却but 听hear 泉spring 声sound 恋linger 翠green 微reclusion

　　This poem was written from a speaker’s point of view, as in most of Chinese classical poems the speaker can be identified as the poet. That is why most Chinese critics would take poetry as the expression of personal sentiments (Western mimesis vs Chinese expressionism).
　　The poem reads like this: I passed by Master Rong’s retreat on the mountain top, and saw there a monk’s clothe hanging outside. No one was in, and there were water birds flying across the window. As I was going away, down the hill, I saw the last rays of sunlight lingering on the path, and from behind the green trees came the gurgling of a spring.
　　To seek a hermit is a motif in classical Chinese poetry, and it had almost the import of the pursuit of the Grail in the West; but of course Chinese pursuit was much secular. The seeker had to be a secular person, and the urge to transcend the secular was also secular and even secularly worshiped or sublimated. A secular person tried to sublimate his secularity by the desire to transcend the secular, and as a result, in the poems the seeking for a hermit was never successful. The seeking itself became an end in itself; the desire to seek proved to be a remedy to appease the desire, temporarily, and writing it out was a follow-up, an after-effect, both a suppression and a titillation for another surge of the desire to “go again.”
　　There is another famous poem by Jia Dao (779-843 Tang Dynasty) entitled “To Seek A Hermit and In Vain”:
　寻隐者不遇 　　　(寻seek 隐者hermit不not遇meet)
　　　　贾岛　　　　　　　　　　　　　　贾岛Jia Dao
　松下问童子　　 (松pine trees 下below 问ask 童子page, child)
　言师采药去 　　(言say 师master, teacher 采gather, pick up 药herb 去gone)
　只在此山中 　　(只only 在in此this 山mountain中amid)
　云 深不知处 　　(云clouds 深deep不not 知know 处location)
　This poem reads like this: I ask the page below the pine trees, and he says his teacher has gone gathering herbs. He is amid the mountain, below the deep clouds but no one can tell where he can be located. This poem uses the page (boy attendant) as a naïve “objective correlative” of the speaker.

My rewriting tries to highlight the atmosphere of “no man’s land” in the universe:
　　　　A Hermitage
A patched cassock hanging on a bamboo sticking out
From the window of this hermitage,
And on the mountain top, there are water birds flying to and fro.
Are they from the creek below, for this human being? Down there,
Dusk is full already,
Climbing up halfway to the path
By which I am going down, back to the society.
Water bubbling behind the thick layers of trees and shrubs.

我改写的《过融上人兰若》：

　　　　一个隐居所

　　一件百衲袍挂在竹竿上，
　　从这隐居所的窗外伸出
　　在这山顶上，竟有水鸟飞来飞去。
　　它们从下面的小溪处飞来的吧，因为这儿住着人？那儿，
　　已经盛满了黄昏，
　　正沿着小径向上爬，
　　而我将会借它返回人尘。
　　层叠的高树矮树背后，有水声淙淙。

　　寻隐者或者寻仙是中国古诗中的一个关键主题，和西方的追寻圣杯意义近似，然而我们的古诗中没有那种外在的宗教意义，这种追寻实际上是很世俗的。首先，寻隐者或者大道人高僧之类的世外人，是完全反映了寻访者的世俗性的，这种世俗性就在于我要以仍然有这种寻访之心来证明自己要求超俗的欲望，而这欲望本身正是世俗的表现。因此，这里的寻访就是一个悖论，或者寻访的冲动本身就是终点。我们看到中国古诗中的这种寻访必然“不遇”。中国古诗中的说话人往往可以被视为诗人本身，因为汉语美学倾向于抒发表现，这自然也和西方摹仿美学相对，但是很难说这和汉语文化中超验宗教比较弱不无关系。也许是因为缺少这种超验性的或者说是外在于人性本身的宗教性，因此汉语诗一个技巧就是用一个天真的“客观对应物”来表现自己。例如贾岛的著名诗作《寻隐者不遇》中的那个对答童子，实际上就可以说是代表着说话人的另一个自我，是一个“天真”的等待者。等待，可说是“侍候”，这也是书童的作用。同样，我在綦毋潛的《过融上人兰若》中看到“溪鸟”也起到了如此作用。本来是溪水中的鸟，却高飞到山头的禅室这儿；也许人们可以按照科学说这是鸟的特性，然而在读诗的时候，我们或许应该说这是因为禅室这儿是惟一有人气的地方，这刚好就与我的寻访形成了一种对应。

Qiwu Qian: Boating on Ruoye Lake in Spring

"Boating on Ruoye Lake in Spring" by Tang Dynasty Poet Qiwu Qian

　　春泛若耶溪
　　　　　　　　【唐】綦毋潜
幽意无绝断，此去随所偶；
晚风吹行舟，花路入溪口。
际夜转西壑，隔山望南斗。
潭烟飞溶溶，林月低向后。
生事且弥漫，愿为持杆叟。

Word-by-word translation 逐字直译:

　春　　　泛　若耶　　　溪
Spring float Ruoye brook/lake

　　幽　　　　意　　　无　绝　　　断
Deep/serene sense/feel no end/stop break
　此　去　　　随　　　　所　　　偶
Here　go according to that-has occasion
　晚　　　风　吹　　行　　　舟
Evening wind blow moving boat
　花　　路　　入　　　溪　　　口
Flower road enter brook/lake mouth
　际　　夜　转　西　　壑
Come night turn west valley
　　隔　　　　　　　　山　　望　　南　　斗
Screened/separate mountain watch south dipper
　　潭　　　烟　飞　　溶溶
Lake/pool mist fly broad/floating
　林　　月　低　　　向　　后
Woods moon lower toward back
　生　　　事　　　且　弥　　漫
Life matters/things and full overflow
　　愿　　　　为　持　杆　　叟
Wish/willing be hold pole old-man

A translation by W Bynner

　　BOAT IN SPRING ON RUOYA LAKE
　　　　　　　　　　　Tr. W. Bynner

Thoughtful elation has no end:
Onward I bear it to whatever comes.
And my boat and I, before the evening breeze
Passing flowers, entering the lake,
Turn at nightfall toward the western valley,
Where I watch the south star over the mountain
And a mist that rises, hovering soft,
And the low moon slanting through the trees;
And I choose to put away from me every worldly matter
And only to be an old man with a fishing-pole.

My two versions 我的两个版本

　　Boating In Ruoye Lake’s Spring
　　　　　　　　　By Tang Dynasty poet Qiwu Qian
　　　　　　　　　Tr. FAN Jinghua
The purport of the deep and beyond is unending,
This course of mine is marked by whatever comes along.
The boat is borne onward by the evening breeze,
Cleaving a route between flowers and entering a lake.
Night finds my boat turning to the Western Valley,
And I see the Southern Stars high beyond the mountains.
Mist over the lake floats slowly like moonlight,
Behind me, the moon moves away with the trees, lower and lower.
Rather than resign myself to endless worldly cares,
I’d be an old man holding nothing but a fishing-pole.


　　Boating on Ruoye Lake in Spring
　　　　　　　　　　　(Tang Dynasty) Qiwu Qian
　　　　　　　　　　　Tr. FAN Jinghua
The import of the deep beyond has no end,
And I’ll drift on with whatever comes along.
Evening breeze bears the boat along a course
That cuts through the blossomy shores and joins a pool.
Night falls and the boat turns to the Western Dale,
While the Southern Dipper is seen high above some mountains.
Over the water, a mist poises and loiters,
Whereas the moon slips backward and lowers in the woods.
Varied and wearing are earthly concerns,
And if only I were an oldie holding a fishing rod.

About the Poet: Qiwu Qian was a Tang poet, remembered less because of a few existing poems than because of association with the great poet Wang Wei.