Fan Jinghua: Unfriend

　　　　Unfriend

Glancing through the titles alone, I re-suffer
Each of those moments I had dragged out to drown myself
Often in wee hours when nothing could feel anything and nothingness
But I did make all those poems
In spite of a love too hard to make

Then ellipses dripping from a ceiling
Trailed behind everywhere our minds diverted
There was too much death in the mute dots
I had to use an exclamation mark to throw them away
Into a life-freeing pond before the Cock-Crow Nunnery
Late into a stormy night
I cried out “I love you” to the downpour and scared away
Two pairs of lovers lurking in the pavilion
I might have been a nerd, a jackass
And who would be jackass enough to prove I was not and am not

Now, you surface, with a smiley hi
And stand away, still there
I could not unfriend you
For I have too much distracted mind for you
And you do not sink

You are word-necking with some stranger you picked up from nowhere
And added to the list to which I am overqualified
But only I know I am still a nerd
The only thing a jackass could do to you is
To set the status to “Do Not Disturb”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　April 19, 2010

　　　非朋友

瞄过那些标题，我再次承受每一个时刻
我曾过分地拉长，每次将自己淹个半死
在更绝漏尽的时分
再没有什么能够感受什么，甚至感受不到虚空
而我做了那些诗，尽管那份爱太难做成

然后是省略号像漏水的天花板
尾随我们的分歧，我无法甩掉
那六个无言的点包含着太多的死
我必须用一个感叹号像链球一样将它们抛到
一个放生池

那是一个倾盆大雨之夜
我在鸡鸣庵前大喊“我爱你”
吓走了两对潜伏在凉亭中的情人
我很可能真的是一个怪胎，一个傻逼
而又有哪个傻逼会来证明我那时不是，现在也不是

如今，你会浮出来，吐出一个微笑表情
接着便站开，可仍在那儿，一个符号而已
我只能将你插在朋友中，无法去除
我早已为你分心太多
你不会沉没

你在和某个你不知从何处搭到的陌生人暧昧
那人所在的列表我已不够格
惟有我知道我还是那个怪胎
而一个傻逼能够对你做的，不过是
将状态设置为“请勿打扰”
　　　　　　　2010年4月19日凌晨

Fan Jinghua: Love Poem

　　　　Love Poem

To live blindness, we have picked out the world most flamboyant silk for our eyes
Then we sit down, only a sea apart, and think of those great dead lovers
Till the hands of imagination can feel lines of a poem on each of our faces
There is really no unpenetrable darkness in this world or the next
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　April 14, 2010

　　　　　情诗

为了体验盲目，我们挑选了世界最艳丽细柔的丝绸蒙住眼睛
然后我们坐下，稍微隔开一座海，想着那些死去的情人们
直到我们的想象之手抚摸出彼此脸上的诗行
这世界真的没有穿透不了的黑暗，来世也没有
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　2010年4月14日

Fan Jinghua: Later

　　　Later
In due time, they sit down, face to face
And also for a moment they watch outside
The window, as fresh hot water is refilled to the teapot
Once, and left unrenewed
And then they go back, respectively
They have not held hands, and there is
No separation

　　　后来
然后，他们坐了下来，面对面
还望了望窗外
茶，续了一次，没有再续
后来，他们各自回去
没有拉手，所以也就没有
分手

Fan Jinghua: Dewdrops

　　　Dewdrops
The leaf not even tilting, its veins
Girdle themselves to the thinner jaw
Where dewdrops accumulate
Their clear thickness
This is not even touched by the morning sunlight

　　　露水　
叶子没有倾斜，而脉纹
一直涌向它颀瘦的下巴，露水
已在那儿增厚了
这是连朝阳也不曾感到的

Fan Jinghua: Imagination

　　　Imagination

How enviable—she
At his right, so much
A waterlily in her that blooms like a still whirlpool
And his left hand stretches out
Like a dike and locks itself to her right collarbone
—A floodgate
That man, your other, as an imagined figure, always hurts you
As someone said, as the world hurts God


　　想象

多么令人妒慕啊——
她，在那人的右侧，那般
莲花，静止的流淌
那人的左手像堤岸伸出去
还在她的右锁骨下
扣下一道闸
那人，你的他者，作为想象，总在伤害你
有人早就说过，犹如这世界伤害着上帝

Fan Jinghua: Confirmation and Negation

　　Confirmation and Negation

He is unable to stop her from leaving
Even the threat of death is only an exaggerated imagination, non-existence
In the world of the real, and oh how real
She is. The she he brings with him
Is her unreality, and he has taken her whole-heartedly, repeatedly
But she knows nothing of the fact
That the relation between them is that between life and death

　　肯定与否定

他阻止不了她的离去
甚至死也不过是虚张的想象，不存在
于真实的世界，而她
多么真实，他带走了的她
是她的不真，他一意占有，一再地
而她不知
她和他的关系，是生与死

Fan Jinghua: Weak Pillars

　　　Weak Pillars
　　　　　　　In Memory of “a few” children
Those children, jaws in palms, eyelids heavy
As if the whole world is for their arms to pillar
Fall to sleep behind their own windows
When the structure collapses
Then, daylight pierces the square eyes of the institutional mansions
And doves fly across the sky, mutely
As men, bustling around, believe in progress and necessary forgetfulness
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　弱的栋梁
　　　　　[纪念一些孩子]
用手撑住下巴，而眼皮将世界压在那手臂的栋梁上
在整座大厦的坍塌下
等待天明的孩子
睡在自己的窗后
当昼光开始刺扎机构楼宇的方眼
鸽子无言地划过天际
人，营营碌碌，便是向前，犹如忘却一样必然