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Fan Jinghua: Opening The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Fan Jinghua: Opening The Unbearable Lightness of Being

  Opening The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Tomas drove through the zigzag country road
And arrived at a provincial sanatorium;
He quickly avoided a local amateur band
And sauntered into a housed hot spring
Where chronic men circled around a floating chessboard.
A splash.
An awkward mermaid. Then, a petite figure
Sprang out of the pool, picked up a book, and held it under the left arm
And forward she cantered without turning her head,
Which Tomas could not help.......
He followed almost on her heels, through the narrow corridors
With institutionalized cells and distorted naked women behind the ajar doors,
And without turning his head, he picked them up in side glimpses.
His gait cleaved and swept (like waltzing) toward a half-deserted bar,
Where he occupied a corner over a small red book randomly opened,
Waiting for his facial expression to compose.
Sensible time had elapsed when he looked up to peep at the girl
Behind the counter and to capture the exact moment and angle
So that her eyes might meet his from different directions.
And they did. Not by chance.
He ordered across the room with exaggerated voiceless mouth,
And she checked his lip-rounding with hers
Three times before settling down to cognac.
He took out his wooden key tag,
And she added to his room fare the brandy and her time
To get out of there and meet him at the outside square.
Perfect for the rhyme.
But any tragic end starts with a unilateral seduction.
Tomas the chronic womanizer wanted to make affairs light, simple and direct,
Never delineating discrete instances into a lineal plot.
For instance, when he was seated on a hostess’ chair, he would order
Without a wink: Take off your clothes!
She would gasp in astonishment, agape, stoned, totally at a loss for words,
But that was what they could expect.
The pulse of electrified flesh would numb the trembling of soul.
His command was not to be repeated,
For he knew better the fatal power of concentration at that moment.
But this girl was different.
For one, she did not walk but leap upon rebounds;
For another, she carried a classic novel under her left arm;
And most of all, she was the name Tereza.
Their encounter could never be fully accounted for
Within the sphere of socio-psycho-somatic constructs of an individual.
There were far too many irrelevant onlookers on the platform in Anna Karenina.
One could see the warnings of danger at every turn
Only when scaling up the winding downslope: Dead Slow!
But they had boarded on a bobsleigh course,
All the eye-stopping spots flickering by, blurred, without a retainable frame.
Eye-to-eye look existed only as a memory
When Tomas looked at Tereza floating along a corridor, swerving
Among tables and chairs before standing behind the counter, half submerged,
While fits of worn-out brass were heard from outside
                  June 4-5 2007



   翻开《生命的难忍之轻》

托马斯一路颠簸穿过九曲十八弯的乡村公路
来到外省的温泉疗养院
他绕开那个噪杂的业余乐队
踱步走进一个热气腾腾的室内泳池
那里大腹便便的男人们泡在水中下象棋
一个女人纵身激起浪花
然后潜过池水然后捡起一本书头也没回
托马斯的眼睛不可避免地……
他尾随那个夹着书的背影穿过走廊
穿过一个又一个相同的隔间和半掩的门内身形走样的裸体女人
他头也不转,眼睛左扫又瞄
抬脚划出几个之字(像华尔兹)来到一个小酒吧的角落
掏出一本红皮小书、随意翻开
等到自己的表情
差不多能够显示出自己是一个心定气闲的专注男人
这时他开始从眉毛上方
偷偷捕捉那柜台后的姑娘抬头或者转脸的瞬间与角度
于是他们的视线终于不期而遇
他以夸大的嘴型无声地说出cognac
三次,那姑娘和他对着口型,然后端来一杯白兰地
他掏出房门钥匙,酒帐算进房费
而姑娘心领神会
那个号码为她找到一场巧遇的理由
一个严重的结果常常以单方面逢场作戏的勾引开始
而玩世玩己的托马斯可不愿际遇连贯成情节
他只想让那事儿简单直接
譬如他一旦坐上了女主人的椅子,便会目不转睛地命令
“脱掉你的衣服”
她或许会吃惊,但是吃惊就是震撼,肉体的冲击往往会覆盖灵魂的颤栗
他知道她甚至不愿从目瞪口呆的机械中醒来
他依然目不转睛,他不会重复那个命令
(他知道那个时刻的专注性感得足以致命)
然而这个姑娘与众不同,
其一,她走起路来一蹦一跳
其二,她左腋下还总是夹着一本厚厚的经典小说
更因为她就是那个名字:特丽莎
因此这场邂逅犹如情节的伏笔暗示着沉重的重逢
绝非一个角色的社会心理肉体构成所能解释
譬如《安娜•卡列尼娜》的站台有无数不相干的看客
人人都只是在逆行于九曲回肠的上坡时
才发现每一个拐弯都竖立着警告:
前方危险,减速慢行
而他们已经坐进了橇车上了跑道
两边引人注目的风景低于只存在于瞬间,没有定格,他们也不可能专注,
甚至连对视也只存在于记忆
那时托马斯盯着特丽莎沿着走廊穿过桌椅拐进了一个酒吧的柜台后面
而外面的业余乐队还在一浪一浪地演奏
                   2007年6月5日

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