Fan Jinghua: Lonely Masturbator’s Night Song

　　Lonely Masturbator’s Night Song

My eyes have been shut for quite long. Outside, on the corridor
Voices have been flowing. How could they, wingless, footless, descend the nine circles

All the lamps are pallid, cold like stars over the ruins, of the same distance
From their height, am I a grain of sand lying back on the bed of a dark river

Not to disturb the solitude of the night, I pull my finger to my closed eyelids
And it looms like a cement column, no steel bars inside, its shadow darker than night

A distant ambulance’s sirens sound impatient and lonely
It can never come to fetch any from me

Except this body which would rather stay here with me for the rest of my life
Until I may reunite with you, in guilt, ecstasy and oblivion
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　June 10, 2008

　　　自慰者的夜歌

眼睛关闭很久了，走廊上，人声
曾经如流，没有翅、没有脚，回响如何下降十八层

所有的灯都苍白了，冷若废墟上空的星，只剩相同的遥远
从高处俯瞰，我这粒沙是否已仰卧在黑色的河床上

我缓缓将一只手指拉到眼睑前，不想惊扰孤独
它仍然是一根实心的柱子，没有钢筋，阴影比黑夜更黑

远处，救护车孤单了，上气不及下气地呼叫着
只是它再也不会带走属于我的

除了这个身体，而它宁愿不被载走，陪我在这里
守着余生，直到与你再会，于疚痛、狂喜与遗忘中
　　　　　　　　　　　　2008年6月10日