Fan Jinghua: Double Jeopardy

　　　Double Jeopardy
Oh, my fond memories! They have never changed.
What have been are with me in my dreams,
Sustaining all of my alienated years.
On the dock of this strange bay, I do sometimes sit and cry,
Waiting on the waves to carry news from my mother’s land.
When they say, how enslaved the people is,
I turn away my face and nod, as if my heart is prodded by fire-tongs.
After so many years, it remains what it was when I escaped
And my black hair has turned grey.
Her poverty justifies my turning back to it,
Her primitiveness sentimentalizes my memories.
Oh, my homeland, my first love, may you be always rustic and underdeveloped,
All your people living hard as slaves, hardworking and taciturn.
Let me alone suffer in this industrialized democratic state.
　　　　　　　　　　May 4, 2008

　　　双重危境
哦，我魂牵梦绕的记忆！它们从未改变。
过去的景象一直伴随我，
在这异化的岁月里维系我的精神。
确实，我有时也会坐在这异乡的码头，遥望而垂泪，
期待海浪吹来母亲之土的消息。
它们说，那是一个被奴役的国度，
我转过脸去，点头，犹如我的心被炭火的钳子戳动。
这么多年过去了，她依然是我逃离时的模样，
而今我的黑发已成白头。
她的贫困令我离开得理所当然，
她的原始令我的记忆充满感伤。
啊，我的故土， 我的初恋，愿你永远小农而落后，
你的人民勤劳、无怨、悲苦地生存，
让我独自在这工业化的民主之国承担你的苦难。
　　　　　　　　　2008年5月4日