Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Fan Jinghua: Insomnia

   Insomnia

If insomnia is uprooted from the brain trees, what else is left for the night?
I know there are stars, but I can only put my feet in the slippers,
Walk for a few steps, and take them out, and then walk barefooted for a few more steps
Before taking the slippers with my feet to the bedroom.
This woman is my love. Her contours are like mountains and flowing waters,
Or whatever meandering in the semi-darkness that I do not resort to words.
What is between us, love deducted? At this moment, she does not even have
Reasons or dreams to demand me any more, while I stand watching her, mute.
When she is sleeping, no one will know what I am thinking about,
Or how in my mind one person splits into many and how distance transforms.
Worms of insomnia somersault in the water of thoughts; aren’t they lives?
How grave is the problem that so many clocks cannot have
Peaceful sleep in the quilted bosom of the winter,
While birds wake up so early to hunger, crying like babies.
           Jan. 2010

   失眠症
摘除了失眠,夜的脑树还剩什么?
我知道总归有星星,可我只能将脚放进拖鞋,走几步,
拿出来,再走几步,又放进去,走进卧室。
这女人是我的爱,她的轮廓像山峦和流水,或者其它什么
延绵于半黑暗中,我不必诉诸于描述;
除了爱,我们还有什么?
此刻,她甚至没有理由或者梦希求我更多,
我看着她,无言。
当她在沉睡,无人知我想着什么,
将一个人想成了无数,将距离想得变形。
不眠之虫在思绪的水中翻着跟头,可否称为生命?
这是何等严重的问题,那么多时钟
在隆冬应该裹紧棉被的怀里不得安眠,
而娃娃腔的鸟儿这么快就饿了。
        2010年1月

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