Fan Jinghua: Writing Distance

　　　　　Writing Distance

Whatever subtraction is performed on distance, the remainder cannot be minus,
So you are always not present, body or heart or both.
This has become not a variable lack or loss, but a state of being,
And I am not supposed to sentimentalize about it anymore.
What makes me write about this is
My pencils have just been sharpened by my wife
Who has sprawled supine on the sofa, watching soup operas half-mindedly
By her drowsy puppy for a quite boringly long elapse of time.
She called me to her and handed me this handful of uneven sticks,
Before they rose for a walk and I didn’t know who dragged whom out.
I am alone now, and I take each pencil to test out one line
Until eventually, or now, I use one pencil to strike off all I have scribbled down
And miscopy them over and smooth them out into one piece,
With the last line really far away from the first where I talk about distance and you.
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　May 9, 2008

　　　　写·距离
无论用怎样的减法，距离也不可能被减成负数，
你总在别处，心或身，或者两者均不在此。
这不再是一种变量的缺失或者丧失，而是
一种状态，我本不该再对此还有什么感伤。
之所以写下这些字，仅仅是因为我妻子
仰卧在沙发上心不在焉地看着肥皂剧，
只有哈巴狗趴在她的脚边，无聊得足够久了，
所以她唤我过去，交给我一把削好的铅笔，
接着起身出门散步，不知是谁拖起了谁，留下我
一人，和长短不齐的笔。我每一支试写一行，
直到我终于用一支笔划掉所有的字，然后又换一支，
重新抄写所有被涂抹过的字，遇到看不清的
就随便改动，将这些都连成一片；这时，我才发现
这一行离第一行真的很远，已经不谈你和距离。
　　　　　　　　　　　2008年5月10日