The first draft of last posting "Song of a Suicidal Lover"
An Elegy for Love
It is a hurt to seek a love that attempts to pay for another;
if a love is to be measured in terms of heart and soul
there will be no love at all, for love exists only when unrequited.
That taste I began to know and enjoy was cut short,
and it left behind all the bitterness I’ve been trying in vain to forget
and in fear I cannot help but bringing its pungency back to mind.
Any single hurt is unlimited. It befalls and falls unstoppable
into all the nights without your body or image near.
Your words of farewell to a fare-thee-well, which the eroticized
spring breezes cannot bring to flower again, are so undead
that even the bees of my life will not sting for honey.
They are wax, guiltily pleasant to fondle,
when the slit eye of the moon slants through the window
or when morning birds are testing their eager songs somewhere outside.
March 11, 2008
爱情挽歌
苦追试图与爱者匹配的爱情，那是自求伤害；
如果爱情企图折换成心与灵的读数，
爱情就已消失，因为爱只有在单恋之中存在。
那个中滋味我刚开始体略，就被立即斩断，
留下所有的苦涩给我徒然地遗忘，令我
恐惧于遗忘，而不得不在信中回味那种刺激。
任何单独的伤都有无穷的伤害力。一旦落下
将无法阻挡地进入所有没有你的深夜。
你告别的话说得美好，连春情萌动的风
也难以令它们开出花来，那么毫无生机，
甚至连我生命的蜜蜂也不会叮咬的花心。
这是蜡，抚摸起来会带来令人愧疚的愉快，
而月亮的小眯眼总在这时斜斜地射进窗户，
或者晨鸟急不可耐地在外面某处初试它们的嗓音。
2008年3月16日
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