Saturday, December 29, 2007

Fan Jinghua: Gloria

   Gloria
Looking at your portrait, Bathsheba, I am amazed,
Full of gratitude, to man and technology,
To the machines that bring you before my eyes and are more
Magnanimous than my imagination and memory.
You have come closer to this narrow gate to the one-instant world,
You take the boundless moment of ecstasy to procreate another,
And you become farther from the maddening crowd
That populates the earth like mushrooms after three fine rains.

I am teleported to that dark studio
As if my body and soul were only a pair of eyes
Marveling at the liquid under red light
While you take your form in a fleshless self.

As believed. As expected.
As wished. As granted.

Your eyes come out, deep and bright, but they saw beyond me;
Your cheeks come out serene, and the mouth would never round for a kiss;
Your breasts come out lively curvaceous, but they would never thrill.
Still, night after night in the blessed coolness,
I air kiss your lips, straightjacket myself to feel your warmth,
And gather the benevolence in your eyes like a star-gazer,
Full of aching heart toward all the lifeless processes,
As if I am bestowed and can bestow beatitude and grace.
           Dec. 10-11, 2007


















Bathsheba (1654) by Willem Drost ca.1630-1680

    荣耀颂
仰望与凝视,拔示希巴,你的像令我惊异
而倾服,感恩盈满而溢出我心,
对人类与技术,对一切无生的机器。
它们恢宏而高贵,容纳着我的想象与记忆,
赋予我灵视以亲睹你的脸从时空幽暗的深处
浮现,来到这瞬间世界的窄门前。
喜庆的彩纸屑纷落后,你占据着门廊,光包裹你,
这一狂喜时刻孕育着另一个广袤,在你背后展开无限。
而你驻停,于是你远离了尘嚣,
将三场细雨过后的大地留给生机勃勃的蘑菇。

在那饱和了红色的暗室,我的视野
醇浓,肉身与灵魂的透镜也染成了红色;
你没有肉身,以圆润的线条拥有身形,于是
你容我进入,容我走出你的时候带着你。

有所信,必有所期;
有所期,必有所得。

你的眼睛显现了,深邃而明亮,但它们望着我的身后;
你的脸颊是两轮交汇的恬静,嘴唇不会窝成亲吻的态势;
你的乳房勾勒出最生动的曲线,但不会颤慄。
然而在一夜又一夜的星光之凉中,我总会
伫立在窗前,遥远地亲吻你,双手抱肩,
拥着你的善与仁慈,在自己的体温中感受你,
感受自己的心不知从何处升起的隐隐之痛,
感受这一切无生的过程中生命如露珠的凝结,
犹如我既承受至福与恩典又在承受中将它们散发。
         2007年12月24日圣诞夜 2007 Christmas Eve

No comments: