Fan Jinghua: Romeo

　　　　　　　Romeo

　　　Tears have to be held back, the parting is kept unnoticed;
　　　Words are not to be uttered, the longing is hidden and disguised,
　　　Beyond the two hearts that know, no one will ever know.
　　　　　　　　　　　　　—— Bo Ju-yi the Sanguine

You’ve finally lain down,
Down with your sword
By the stone pillow where her hair grows like moss,
After so many years of bell tolls
The salty Medi-terra-nean wind has not eroded the thick walls
Of the chapel where Friar’s self-reproaching eyes
Still grow green in the cuckoo’s mocks.
His lasting fast has not yet mummified him into a pupa,
Or at least such is the rumor during the vespers.

On every eve of Vesuvian eruption
People identify an unidentified flying object lingering
Is that you Romeo on the arch of a meteor?
(Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?)

Still dazzling and enchanting are the ladder-like waves
But no more is there moonlight in court-yard.
You’ve overdrawn too many dawns for those balcony dates,
You waded across the cool water of life and death
Straddled the starlit parapet
Bade her good-night for the one-night stand during which you stood
Till the tanks of clouds squeezed out the morning sun’s blood.
A small slip of the hooves, a stumble beside the river of reflected stars
Would seduce my vision for a collaboration and you would never come back.

But how can a man reproach another man for his love for gallantry?
What do men do to feel real and alive, then?
The only thing is
You have not learned, you have never learned
A woman or a goddess
Is but a touch-me-not in a mirror, a forget-me-not upon water
Neither a hand nor a foot
Not any part belonging to a man.
When she persists in love, she betrays you
But you are still Romeo, Romeo

(How can a man begrudge another man’s love for loving?
But to whom could I tell about
Our ancient ways of merry-making?)
What season is it there?
Are you fishing in a frozen lake or sword-fighting with a drunken moon?
Mercutio’s gone, long into hermitage, vocal cord cut.
For many years, I have been tracing him but in vain
He must have become a real shabby grave man
And the tavern where we’d roistered and fought is now a cultural site
Well-preserved but desolate
The ancient streets are stained with modern hostels
The beach crowded with swarthy women, bony and flowery
And bizarre creatures sucking marijuana, riding heavy metals
They’ve crushed the scenery of a lone roc and the setting sun

Last night, outside the city gate
A begging monk committed hara-kiri with his split bamboo flute
The cattail hassock sponged in every drop of his blood
The site of the rite was clean and dry and this morning the gate opened wide
Like a laughing mouth, laughing at you and me and at Mercutio
Romeo
After you’ve gone
This is no country for the young,
The old, rocking in the armchairs, enjoy respectful care
Their white hair blooming
Like the wild flowers by the younger tombs

　　Note: Chinese original written in early 1990s


　　　　　　　罗密欧

　　（为了多年前一场轰轰烈烈的苦恋）

　　　不得哭，潜别离；不得语，暗相思，两心之外无人知。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　——白乐天

你终于抱剑倒下了 和衣倒在她长发如苔的石枕旁
不如归去的凄鸣应和着晚祷的钟声
小教堂藏经的密室里神父那呆滞的眼睛仍发着绿光
多少世纪了
地中之海的咸涩没能风蚀那石屋的厚墙
外面的人传说他早已闭关成蛹了

每当维苏威火山爆发前夜
总有人目击维洛那上空有来历不明的物体盘旋
是你吗 罗密欧 驾着流星的弧线
(难道你就这样离开我 不给我些许满足?)

地中之海　波光依然滟潋 柔媚一如当年
多少次你披着黑夜的斗篷 潜入那明枪暗箭的后院
(那种寻欢如今对谁去说)
为了一夜楼台之欢
你骑着西厢外冷硬似铁的墙头 满肩落月的清瘦
我为你的身体担忧
你认定终身的遗憾是不能化着她的手套
抚摸那水密桃般的娇羞

夜夜你总在东方既白时才匆匆离去
终于应验了我预感的悲剧
一不小心 连人带马从一个斜坡跌入另一个维度

多少世纪后的今天
我仍要责备你 不该为了恋爱而迷恋上了爱情
女人 只不过是写在水上的名字
她不是手 不是脚 不是手臂 也不是脸
（镜花水月的事）
当她执着于爱情时就背叛了你
可你还是……罗密欧

罗密欧
你在那里是混迹于沙龙还是独钓寒江
是否还在月光下与影子比剑对饮
(据说那里的人只是一个平面 再非立体)
墨丘西欧归隐了 我已多年寻他不见
传闻他在深林的草舍 自残了声带 夜夜醉里扶剑

当年我们聚饮斗剑的馆肆已是无人问津的文化遗址
锈迹斑斑的古街映衬着座座新建的青年公寓
再也没人谈侠论剑 或者为荣誉冲冠
沙滩上总有黝黑的女郎赤条条地恣纵着日光
一群群吸食大麻的异装族骑着重金属 碾轧着
孤鸿与落日齐飞的风景

黑暗来临　一个老乞丐犹如缠着破布的拐杖
倚着断垣吹箫　于是彻夜里风雨满城
当清晨从死亡中醒来　他已在城门外剖腹
半截身下的蒲团像海绵一样吸干了他的血流
罗密欧　这已非年轻人的国度
充满尊敬的安乐椅上苍苍老者闭目养神
白头如你墓园前的荻花一样摇晃
告诫年轻人不要发誓 不得许愿