Fan Jinghua: In Awe and Expectation

　　　In Awe and Expectation
For a split moment, I see you through those overlapping thick clouds,
A big eye-white of Cyclops,
And I keep on walking, head down for most of the time,
Looking at anything looming clearer and blurred from three feet ahead of my tiptoes.

You know I cannot help but peep
At the milky cleavage; and I know you do not try to hide your sneer.
I have tied myself up with the dodder of my inner voice,
A puppet being worked on by its own legs.

And you, you’ve long grown tired of this, right?
So tired that you do not even bother to stop anything that is moving.
I am left alone, my body playing with my soul,
And occasionally I dare a stare at the sky, hoping that you’ve just taken a squint at me.
　　　　　　　　　　　　April 4-5, 2009


　　敬畏的期待

在一个瞬间之间，我看到了你，
错层的乌云后，独眼巨人的大眼白。
而我继续走着，低着头，大部分时间
看着脚前三尺外的东西逼近，模糊、清晰、再模糊。

你知道我忍不住要偷瞄那乳白的
凹陷，我知道你并不试图掩饰你轻蔑的微笑。
我这样走着，脑颅内的声音缠结了
菟丝子，我像一只被自己双腿带动的木偶。

而你，你对此早已腻味了，是吧？
腻味得甚至没心思去终止任何还在运行的事物。
我就这样无人理会，我的身体与灵魂玩，
偶尔，大着胆子盯着西天，希望你刚刚斜眼瞥了我。
　　　　　　　　　　　　2009年4月5日