Another Life
I wrote a poem one year ago, a draft
Of two pages, about you
When I was reading you, or maybe reflecting myself, trying to trace
The images back to something concrete in the routine life
I hoped to configure a new life hidden from all those
Who can appreciate your physical presence
A life rhythmized by the nodes of imagery
Other than meals, red-letter days, or seasonal mood variations
A life in which the day is honeycombed with black holes of trances
And night studded with diamonds of lost souls
And flowers, insects, and beasts play with you and their look is so soulful
A life of something inherently irrevealable
A life of the other in you
In me too, if my reading is a reflection
Then the draft is in a file folder
Buried under everyday files which impose their importance
Through fretting, dillydallying and backwashing too
Yet, that file of two sheets clipped together remains
A silent noise
Like my favorite jacket
For the Double-Seventh and Halloween, the season I love best
But now it is deep winter
So I often take it out, reliving the unfinished new life
Sometimes adding or changing a few words
And your life is constantly reformed back in those days and nights
Till I don’t know now whether it existed in that time and space
I don't know the when where and who any more
So I trash the draft and write this
April 8, 2009
另一生
一年前我写了一首诗的草稿
两页，有关你
那时我在读你，或者反思自己，试图追索
那些意象，将它们一一还原成日常生活中的具体
我要构想一幅新生活的图景，隐藏在
所有有幸目睹你脸庞与身影的目光之外
那种生活因为意象的节点而另有节奏
不被作息和三餐、公共的节假日、或者季节性的情绪波动打乱
那个人生里，白昼像蜂窝，布满灵魂出窍时的黑洞
夜的天幕缀满迷走者的灵魂钻石
花草虫畜与人嬉闹、也深情对视
那是某种与生俱来的不可揭示的生活
是你内在的另一个
如果是反思，那另一个也存在于我的内在
然后那草稿就被埋在桌边的文件架里
日常的来往文件
有的滞留不走、有的焦躁不安、有的去了又回来
以此显示自己的重要
然而，那回形针夹起的两张纸草稿
犹如沉静的喧响
如我最喜欢的夹克，从乞巧节穿到万圣节，我最喜欢的季节
而现在是深冬
所以我只能翻看，温习那仍未构建完成的新生活
偶尔修改或者添加几个词
你那些时日的人生就这样一再改变，从未稳定
现在，我已经不知道它是否真的存在于那个已经过去的时空
不知道曾经何时、何地、何人
所以我就写了这首诗，而将那草稿扔进了垃圾桶
2009年4月8日
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