Li Yiliang: A Dream of Father

　　A Dream of Father
　　　　　　　　　　Li Yiliang (1966-)　　tr. Fan Jinghua
I heard clearly Father was calling me.
A sudden surprise and terror.
I opened the door at the call, and I woke up
— Another dream.

How long has he left?
I have not thought of him, or rather,
As a matter of fact, I do not miss him.
He is very old now, a lonely man.

Has he thought of me? He chooses
A day like this, coming along a dream—
This would be easier. Pity
We did not meet, tonight

After the dream was broken, by the end
Of all the troubled years, I asked myself—
What strained turn of fate made me feel
That the I he called had left me and gone away;

Also made me fear of seeing
The honest and saddening look in his eyes.
All my younger inspirations that set me off,
All my almighty ambitions—

To make Father’s face gleam with pride of me,
For my leading a life unlike his.
I shattered his expectation.
I cannot return to the beginning days.
　　　　　　　　　　　　　1993

　　梦见父亲
　　　　　　　　　　李以亮
我听得真切：父亲叫我。
刹那间惊奇又恐惧。
我应声开门，于是我醒来。
——又一个梦。

离开父亲已经多久？
我不想他，或者说，
实际上，我并没有想他。
他已经很老，是个孤独的人。

是父亲想起了我？他选择
这个日子，从梦中走来——
这就容易得多。然而
我们没有见面，今夜

在梦醒之后，在所有
烦恼岁月的末端，我自问——
是什么命运的乖张使我感到
他所呼唤的我已离我远去；

又使我这么害怕见到
他那诚实、伤心的眼神。
我全部赖以出发的初衷啊，
我所有不可一世的雄心——

是让父亲以我感到满面荣光，
有别于他的一生。
我让他伤心。
我回不到开始的日子。
　　　　　　　　1993

Li Yiliang was born in 1966, a few months later than me, and we are of the same age. What his dream about Father (to meet Father's expectation) is perhaps both an ideal and a burden for the people at that time. The original title of the poem should be literally translated as "(I have) Dreamt of Father."