Ling Xi: Since Early Morning My Breasts

　　从凌晨开始，乳房就有些精神失常
Since early morning, my breasts have been a little mentally disordered
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　by Ling Xi 凌曦　tr. Fan Jinghua

　　1
冷静，牛奶仅次于书桌硬度
左手执杯，右手书写一个地点
一座玻璃城堡，从三月四月五月延展
六月，长出一株小草
接着一丛紫色小花，一个蚂蚁窝
草原，露水，从昨晚习惯
逆向而眠，掐灭头顶那一盏灯
地平线依然善用曲线表达臀部光滑的阴影
风，一身灰土，窜进午后
抿紧嘴唇，将一口痰暗暗吞咽

我突然失去幻觉，青春黑屏
四只利爪，在季节的胸脯上，肆意纵横
我的小兽，突然止步
气喘，掏出一块三生石，扔进夜色中央
惊醒，我的乳房

一边遭虫蛀
一边潮声上涨

　　I
Calm, milk is only a little bit less hard than the desk
A mug in my left hand, the right hand is writing a place name
A castle of glass, which expands from March, April and May
To June when a small grass grows
Succeeded by a cluster of purple flowers, a hill of ants
From last night, the prairie, with dews, falls into the habit of
Sleeping backward, pinching off the lamp overhead
While the horizon is still good at using curves to express
The glossy shade of buttocks
The wind wears dusty overalls, scuttle into the afternoon
Lips clammed, and swallow down a mouthful of spittle

Suddenly, I lose illusions, my youth blank-screened
And four claws set loose their furrows on the breasts of the season
My small beast comes to a sudden halt
Gasps, takes out a three-life stone and throw it into the depth of night
Startling awake my breasts

One worm-infested
One swelling with wave-sounds


　　2
睡着之前，本想流泪
也无所谓，你不可能再回来
二十年之后，同样情形
走了，你头也不回

看我，今晚
横陈卧床，绝对隐秘，且喧哗
一棵音乐之树，撑开荫凉
大大小小，都是我的，一树木瓜，青皮，结实
西红柿绝对不是我的双乳

左转，半圈，稍稍停顿，右转，半圈
使劲一拧，一个又一个
音符在果浆中凝结，乳白，仍然挣扎
无助，一只飞蛾，飞来飞去

我早就飞不动了

泪水是北方的一条河，凌汛已过
背过脸去，随手一抹，双乳骄傲地，烂掉

　　II
Before falling asleep, I had planned to weep
But it did not matter much. You could not return again
After twenty years, the same will happen
You go away, without even turning your head

Look here! Tonight, I lie
Spreading across the bed, a supreme mystery, loud
Like a tree of music, opening its shade
Bid and small, all are mine, a treeful of papayas, green-skinned, stout
Tomatoes are definitely not up to my breasts

Anticlockwise for half a circle, pause, and clockwise, for half a circle
Pinch sharply, one and another
Music notes curdle in the whey, milky-white, still struggling
Helplessly, a moth, flying back and forth

I have grown too tired to fly any longer

I cry like a river of the northern country, after the ice run is over
And I turn aside, wiping my face. My breasts begin rotting, proudly


　　3
醒来，突然惊惶失措，乳房不见了
它不在电子邮箱，不在播客，也不在紫衣聊天室

乳房全挂在木瓜树上
一个乳房，熟透，嘭，掉下草丛
一只蜗牛，一只蚂蚁
甚至一只癞蛤蟆，都不动声色，美梦继续

无关紧要，木瓜多肉多汁多子多孙
今晚，跟天空商量交换
月亮挤进我的床

另一只乳房，高高挂天上

　　III
Startled awake, I was seized by a terror, my breasts gone
Not in my email box, not in the podcast, not in the purple-clothed chatroom either

They are hung on the papaya tree
One, ripe to its full, pom, drops onto the grass
Not a snail, not an ant
Not even a toad is frightened, and sweet dreams resume

It doesn’t matter. A papaya is fleshy and juicy, a symbol of fertility
Tonight, I will bargain for bartering
The moon squeezes onto my bed

The other breast of mine will hang high in the sky


　　4
上楼下楼，每天
经过院子，看那棵木瓜
它的孩子从时光的大门跑出来
一个个搂紧它的脖颈

终于低头
用惭愧的思想妒忌生命真实的饱满

　　IV
Going upstairs and downstairs, everyday
I pass by the yard, seeing the children of the papaya tree
Running out of the gate of time
They cling to its neck, one after another

Finally I lower my head, with a guilty heart
Pouring jealousy over the concrete plumpness of life

　　5
39岁的乳房，越来越慌乱
左岸，滞留青春期，右岸，逼近更年期
塞入饥渴的泡沫，或高弹力塑胶，一时汹涌，又随即被验钞机识破

　　V
39-year-old breasts are growing palpably flustered
The left bank lingers on youth, the right approaching climacteric age
Implants of hungry foams or silicone gel render them billowy
But instantly they are seen through by a currency detector



About the author
Ling Xi, born in 1970 into a family of Dong nationality in Guangxi Province, has been doing all sorts of odd jobs since she left a Miao nationality high school in 1989. She began writing poetry only in recent few years after she got a relatively stable job in a pesticide factory.

凌曦，1970年生于广西一个侗族家庭，1989年高中毕业后，开始打工。先后做过代课老师、饭店服务员、竹篾编织工，几年前来到如今这家小型农药厂做工，相对稳定，开始写诗。