Fan Jinghua: Love

　　　　　Love

At first, it was only a dark dot, a floating particle
that took you around in your displacement.
Pulled into focus but pushed so away, you seemed to be a dwarf
lost in a constellation, as she would say,
but everything correlates in rotation and revolution.
You might take your place behind a staircase, and said
one could never be lonely,
with all those steps of ups and downs.
Then she came like all the others who come by,
but she fell into her own way of seeing the lines in this narrow space,
hers was a perspectival deepening.
In a coordinate in terms of dimensions and IQ and aspiration she dredged you
from an area: below average, unrated and positive.
There is a liquefied multilayered circle that holds light that holds darkness
that keeps you apart.
No cries can be heard in this too vast plain,
and there are no echoes.
She has rains of cloud stones to dodge,
and she has only two arms to wrap up her head.
The terror of accidents oozes like tears that have never welled up
but crystallized into shining motes beneath your lids.
I marvel at their neon colors, forgetting to pray for pure light
and unable to ask why.
It is the mystique that binds, the smart that make you feel for her,
it is a baroque pearl she holds painfully, tenderly and warmly;
she says this is good, and you hear confidence and modesty and unshed tears.
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　March 1, 2008

　　　　爱

起初，那只是一个黑点，飘浮的粒子，
在不适中时隐时现。
暗淡时被忘却，隐约时进入视野，“这是
星云中的一只矮星”，她说，而一切
都在运转中彼此关联。
你自然能蜗居在楼梯间，看出
那是一个多么合适的居所，听上上下下的脚步，
连孤独的梦也不会无人搅扰。
然而她来了，犹如所有路过的人，只是
她无法抵制自己的迷信，将狭窄空间的线条
理顺，构成一个无底的透视，扭曲了
一个实体、智商与抱负组成的坐标，
从均数之下、未经审查与正值的区域将你捕捞出来。
只是你和她隔着一条多层的液体环带，
间杂着光、间杂着黑暗。
这是一种无垠的平坦，所有的呼喊
都没有回音，
而她正需要穿越陨石雨，只能用双手抱着头躲避。
对于意外，你怀着很深的恐惧，
犹如一滴泪水迟迟没有涌起，
已经在眼睑下结晶。
你赞叹那霓虹的彩光，忘记了祈求更加纯净的明亮，
也不敢追问原因。
这刺痛令你感受着她，这神秘将你们系在一起，
这是一粒不规则的黑珍珠，
她默默地含着你，带着痛苦、柔情与温暖；
她说，这很好，而你听到了自信与谦和
以及没流出的泪滴。
　　　　　　　　　2008年3月2日