Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fan Jinghua: Ordeal

    Ordeal

Don’t go in there for my sake, please don't.
There are unshareable recesses even you,
Whose wrinkled crevices my palm loves to embalm,
Are not supposed to squeeze a foot into.

I need you. I need you to stay out of the door,
Holding my tail, pulling it hard when I shiver.
All I can tell is the dark and human eyes that can take
Not much contrast of light. I need the pain to feel.

Make sure there will always be a crevice
To connect two worlds that I cannot cover.
But dear, don’t go inside where I’m doomed,
Since you can see the daylight striking my back.
            Feb. 16, 2008

  神圣的责罚

不要为了我而走进那儿,
不要。
有些阴暗不可分享,虽然
我的手掌
喜爱为你多皱的缝隙
涂抹油膏,
你也不能将你的裸脚
伸进门缝的镣锁。

我需要你。我需要
你呆在门外,抓着我的
尾巴,在我颤抖的时候
尽力将我拽出来。

我能说的是黑暗
被微弱的尖锐划破,
而人类的眼睛
只能能够忍受有限的
光的反差。

我需要疼痛
才能感觉。
踩住我的尾巴,向后拽。

那扇门不能关闭,
留下一条我手掌无法捂住的缝隙。
但是亲爱的,千万不要跟着
进来,我注定沉酗这诅咒之酒,
而你看见了
我面对你的后背上阳光摇曳,
如我所有的喜悦与感激。
     2008年2月17日

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